Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Reverb10 - Beautifully Different

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

I am definitely different. It took me a long time to realize I have my own beauty. It took me a long time to realize I had any value. I was the last child, a surprise, and was plainly told that I was unwanted. I was told our resources were not to be wasted on the child who would not amount to anything.

On top of that, I was a very sick child, requiring more energy and resources than they wanted to spare. Schools constantly pushed me into the corner, accepting my parents dismissals that they knew I was a waste of effort. I spent more time outdoors, finding comfort in critters, and a lot of time reading. I became very good at observing, imagining, absorbing and playing along in my own little world.

STOP. Do not feel pity. It's my story - it is what made me what and who I am. I'm alright with it - each step I took brought me here. I love HERE.  There were a few points along the way that stand out - my 6th grade science teacher; becoming a college instructor; realizing I make lovely things.

Do you see the pattern? First, there was an outside influence - my science teacher. I wasn't at the school long, but he made me feel smart. Second, there was a personal effort rewarded with peer-voted success. Third, there was personal confidence. Now? There is recognition and understanding.

I didn't understand when I was little why I was treated the way I was. Now that I'm a bit older and more detached, I realize I was dealing with child-to-child relationships rather than child-to-parent. I was stuck in a warped world of "normal". I didn't know this could be (should be?) different. The "other" child was elevated to royalty status - all things revolved around that child's desires and the need of the parent to prompt that child for any opportunities.

I can't change the past. On a good day, I can't even do a lot about that argument at breakfast yesterday. That's ok - we do our best and let it go. I can, however, recognize things in others. Hopefully by sharing, I can help them take a step they wouldn't have. I can see pain - maybe I can make someone laugh, forget their pain for a moment, rest in a ray of guilt-free sunshine. I lift up animals - who then lift up the spirits of others. I can make pretties - send them out to the world. 

I am beautifully different, just like every unique stone the river has polished lovingly to it's own, unique perfection. I am enough and I am not yet finished.

(so are you)


  1. Ok so this one made me cry...not in pity but in pride. I am so honored to have you in my life and I thank you and all the other friends I have out there that stand by me and lift me up while I am discovering who I am. I love you Ky :)

  2. Great post Ky!
    Uniformity is boring!
    I'm glad to be different too!

  3. YES YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. INSIDE and OUT. No matter what you started out as, it's who you've become (and wouldn't be the same Ky w/out having gotten there in the exact way you did) that is most important. LOVE YOU for all of that!

  4. Thanks for writing this. Ugh, like you I also had a skewed sense of what "family" meant and I hate the person I've become for that.

    It's great that you managed to crawl out of that. It makes me wonder if I'll ever have my own version of "here". :)


I adore comments. Make my day brighter and leave me some love!

Welcome to the Bunny Nest! I host rescued animals in a small in-home setting. Currently, I host 3 bunnies and 2 kitties. These animals will be socialized and housed for the entirety of their lives in my home. They inspire my crafts, and I use any proceeds to pay for their needs. Thanks for visiting!